Radio Script - Original Adaptation

[steve]

UPDATE: I don't seem to be knowledgeable enough to delete attachments from my posts yet. The attachment here is obsolete as I have made some minor adjustments to the script. Please see further posts for the most current edition. Thank you.

Hello. This is my first post on this message board. I have been a long-time fan of the story "War of the Worlds" and many of it's adaptations. In particular, I have been and continue to be a fan of the 1938 radio broadcast of "War of the Worlds" and many of the radio adaptations that have been derived from it.

I have always wanted to write my own radio adaptation of the story and have finally done so. I don't profess to being proficient at writing radio drama; I am just an enthusiastic hobbyist like so many other people. Nevertheless, I offer this script for your enjoyment. As there are several different radio script formats, I settled on a hybrid format that hopefully conveys the script adequately.

The script is a PDF attachment and may be considered "Not Safe for Work" for the few obscenities in it. If anyone has any comments, questions or constructive criticisms about the script or it's format, please feel free to reply and I will do my best to respond. Thank you & enjoy.

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[mrgrotey]

Hi Steve, thanks for posting that, I just finished reading it and really enjoyed it. Its gives a nice insight into a point of view you wouldn't initially think of. The radio DJs point of view.

I have, if you dont mind a couple of things to comments on.

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1. As the story you gave was based in the US Im guessing you are also american. Im not sure why reporters do their job in the US but the way you have done it doesn't come accross as right. What I mean is, in your radio play the DJ introduces the next reporter and then the reporter then introduces himself again before reporting. This doesnt sound riht and certainly doesnt happen in UK reporting. The newsreader/DJ will introderduce the reporter then the report is given, THEN the reporters says who he/she is and for what channel/station. Heres and exampl of both.

Your way:

-DJ introduces the reporter and his location.
-Reporter: Introduces himself and his location (again) (not needed, the DJ did that)
-reporter does report
-Reporter re-iterates who and where he is.
-Back to DJ

UK way:

-DJ introduces the reporter and his location.
-reporter does report
-Reporter re-iterates who and where he is.
-Backto DJ

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2. On page 30 you make this statement about the rockets:

"Maybe like the kind of rockets used
by Palestinians when attacking Israeli
settlements in the disputed West Bank
territories although that is pure
speculation at this time."

That speculation just would not be made on a professional radio station, the radio station news service is there to give facts not speculate or give opinions. I'd remove that part if I were you, its not needed.

---

3. Page 36, spelling mistake:
217 SGT. HALL: (ON PHONE) hat's an excellent question

---

4. Contradiction in terms:

296 SOUND EFFECT: A HIGH-PITCHED GRAVELLY HISSING THAT IS
OSCILLATING IN VOLUME. IT IS FAINT BUT CAN
BE HEARD CLEARLY IN THE DISTANCE.

It's faint but can be heard clearly? is that even possible?

---

5. I think, after reading the entire script, that there are far too many 'Is that it?'s and 'do I read this?'s after every time someone hands the DJ a piece of paper. If the DJ had worked there for any amount of time he/she would be used to the producer handing them stuff to read and wouldnt have to ask what or why. It just comes accross as amatuer and clumsy to me. It happens probably 10-15 times and seems unnecessary. Onceor twice yeah, just not as much as you have repeated it.

---

6. Spelling mistake:
356 SOUND EFFECT: MORE THEN ONE PERSON YELLING IN THE
DISTANCE FROM PETER'S END.

Should be more THAN.

---

7. Term usage:

"Both England & France have closed The
Chunnel"

I've lived in the east of England all my life and never hear anyone call the channel tunnel 'The Chunnel'. I realise it was a slang term/nickname for the tunnel when it was first opened but if I, or anyone else I know, wouldnt call it that, I doubt very much if the guys in the US would do either. You may know different but this stuck out to me.



I hope these points dont come accross as insulting to you. I very much enjoyed the script, I just thought I'd put my views accross and hopefully help you out a little.

[steve]

Thank you for replying.

1). I'm not familiar with how formal UK radio reporters operate. The story is from the perspective of a local US radio station using radio personalities unfamiliar with being in that type of a stressful, formal position. I tried to start them off on a "high" where they're very formal (almost too formal) and, as the scenario worsens, they become a bit more informal as situations become more panicked. These people, quite bluntly, are used to being behind a microphone in a studio, not pushed out "in the field" during a rapidly changing situation. I'll have to see if I can clarify that in the next version. Thank you for that observation.

2). I know that the issue (Palestinians v. Israel) is controversial and the comparison might rile but I was trying to find an example that was nearly universal that a majority might have heard about. I'll take a look at that later.

3). Typo. Whoops.

4). Looking back, I can see where the confusion exists. I can make that clearer.

5). I was trying to find a simple way of conveying how, as the situation worsens, there's a greater informality of being off the microphone or otherwise being less professional on the microphone. It was a real challenge to me how to convey that without an excessive use of special effects. Again, the people behind the microphone are used to playing songs and being typical DJs, not formal reporters. It would be interesting to see how I could convey that dynamic differently.

6). Grammar.

7). That can be changed. I remember the phrase "The Chunnel" being used a lot early on.

None of these points were insulting and I'm glad that you voiced them. If I can change the script in a way that makes it more enjoyable to a greater audience, that's an improvement any writer ought to make. Thank you.

[steve]

Current revision of the script attached. See first post for general remarks about the script.

After re-reading the portions of the script mentioned, items 2, 3, 4, 6 & 7 were modified. Items #1 & 5 would require a more extensive modification and I'm uncertain how to address those concerns at this time.

Enjoy.

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