Post by Lensman on Feb 28, 2007 3:08:32 GMT 1
WHAT WOULD MONTY PYTHON DO with The War of the Worlds?
I was talking with a friend of mine about the changes here, and mentioned NervousPete's hilarious "Camelot!" post...
tinyurl.com/yuhrq3
Then my friend pointed out that (as far as we know) there has *never* been a thread on what Monty Python would have done-with- to Wells' classic The War of the Worlds!
So to kick things off:
SCENE: OUTDOORS: A PIT AT HORSELL COMMON
The end of the huge metallic cylinder unscrews and falls into the pit with a clang!
OOLABOO (Eric Idle): [translated from Martian telepathy] <Bloody hell!>
AMOOLA (Terry Jones): <What happened? Oh bugger-- you forgot to fasten the chain you idjit! Well, get out there and pull it back up.>
OOLABOO: <What?? Under Earth gravity? You're a looney!>
AMOOLA: <Go on, get out there and take the chain with you!>
Amoola shoves Oolaboo over the edge with its tentacles. Oolaboo falls to the floor of the pit with a thud!
OOLABOO: (alarmed) Hoot!
UYALOO (Graham Chapman): <Right, what's going on up there? Stop this nonsense, d'you hear? Fine specimens of "intellects vast and cool" the lot of you are! Should have been squashed when you were buds.>
A man peeks over the edge of the pit and waves.
OGILVY (John Cleese): Alloo, you silly Marty-annes!
UYALOO: (crossly) <What d'you want?>
OGILVY: (waving paper) I have a telegram for you!
UYALOO: <What?? You microencephalic biped, no one on your primitive planet even knows we're here!>
OGILVY: It's a message from Mons Olympus. They say you went off course by a few million miles and have landed on Venus by mistake.
UYALOO: <Now look here, you pea-brained hairless ape-->
Ogilvy suddenly bursts into laughter, and several more human heads pop up over the lip of the crater. All fall about laughing.
UYALOO: <Right, that's it!>
Uyaloo pushes a box-like affair with a lens on one side, attached to a thick cable, up from the cylinder and out, aiming the lens at the group of men. A ghostly beam flickers out. It hits the ground, which begins smoking. As the beam swings toward the men, they jump over the lip of the crater and out of sight.
OGILVY (from offstage): Miiiiissed meeeee, you spaghetti-limbed jelly blobs! Your mother was a tribble and your father smelled of red weed juice! Go back to Mars or I shall taunt you a second time.
HENDERSON (Michael Palin-- from offstage): You should quit while you're a-head!
More laughter as we FADE TO BLACK.
.
I was talking with a friend of mine about the changes here, and mentioned NervousPete's hilarious "Camelot!" post...
tinyurl.com/yuhrq3
Then my friend pointed out that (as far as we know) there has *never* been a thread on what Monty Python would have done
So to kick things off:
* * * * *
SCENE: OUTDOORS: A PIT AT HORSELL COMMON
The end of the huge metallic cylinder unscrews and falls into the pit with a clang!
OOLABOO (Eric Idle): [translated from Martian telepathy] <Bloody hell!>
AMOOLA (Terry Jones): <What happened? Oh bugger-- you forgot to fasten the chain you idjit! Well, get out there and pull it back up.>
OOLABOO: <What?? Under Earth gravity? You're a looney!>
AMOOLA: <Go on, get out there and take the chain with you!>
Amoola shoves Oolaboo over the edge with its tentacles. Oolaboo falls to the floor of the pit with a thud!
OOLABOO: (alarmed) Hoot!
UYALOO (Graham Chapman): <Right, what's going on up there? Stop this nonsense, d'you hear? Fine specimens of "intellects vast and cool" the lot of you are! Should have been squashed when you were buds.>
A man peeks over the edge of the pit and waves.
OGILVY (John Cleese): Alloo, you silly Marty-annes!
UYALOO: (crossly) <What d'you want?>
OGILVY: (waving paper) I have a telegram for you!
UYALOO: <What?? You microencephalic biped, no one on your primitive planet even knows we're here!>
OGILVY: It's a message from Mons Olympus. They say you went off course by a few million miles and have landed on Venus by mistake.
UYALOO: <Now look here, you pea-brained hairless ape-->
Ogilvy suddenly bursts into laughter, and several more human heads pop up over the lip of the crater. All fall about laughing.
UYALOO: <Right, that's it!>
Uyaloo pushes a box-like affair with a lens on one side, attached to a thick cable, up from the cylinder and out, aiming the lens at the group of men. A ghostly beam flickers out. It hits the ground, which begins smoking. As the beam swings toward the men, they jump over the lip of the crater and out of sight.
OGILVY (from offstage): Miiiiissed meeeee, you spaghetti-limbed jelly blobs! Your mother was a tribble and your father smelled of red weed juice! Go back to Mars or I shall taunt you a second time.
HENDERSON (Michael Palin-- from offstage): You should quit while you're a-head!
More laughter as we FADE TO BLACK.
.
